Happy Birthday, Tom!

Regarding my post of Sept. 25; this video finally explains things better than two months of NPR/BBC/CNN/MSNBC ever has...thank you, Captain Adama of the GFOL!

Okay, we're all sick & tired of hearing about the financial crisis and the subsequent Bailout by the U.S. Gov't....However, it does present some interesting precedents for other fiscal tomfoolery!

The first that occurs to me is that the next time I run up a ridiculous tab at a Bar (unlikely, I know) and I can't pay; then all the other patrons of the Bar should have to pitch in to cover my Whisky Fiending Ways. After all, if they don't, the whole bar-patron economy may well collapse!

Ah, wondrous internet, whose capacity for useless information is exceeded only by the addictive manner in which I consume it. I've turned into a damn day sleeper; which is a bad thing when you've got to be somewhere at four in the afternoon.

Anyway, a couple of pulls from Gawker that have amused me in the last twenty minutes. Tom Wolfe makes an excellent point vis-a-vis the culpability of computers in the financial shenanigans which NPR will not stop talking about...constantly. I have to occasionally turn off the Radio and remind myself that it has absolutely no bearing on my life before I start ringing up the Irish consulate to ask for an emmigration package (again). So glad I'm not one of those smarmy young financiers whose future is quickly turning from "Masters of the Universe" to something like a G-3 tax agent or perhaps a metropolitan transit engineer. (by the by, the comments section is brilliant on this one!)

Oh, and Clay Aiken is gay. (Like I care...)

And in emulation of my new personal hero, John Hodgman...

That is all.

For a Birthday girl I'll never know.

Turning over the odometer on another year

how much mileage left in this carcass

how many loves, desires & delicious hangovers

before the endgame

to merely ask implys acceptance

and that is verboten

so have another drink and light another cigarette

kiss more boys and girls than is strictly necessary

taste regret as a post coital liqueur

swirled on the tounge and swallowed past the tonsils

with delight.



Whatever,

~Teddy~

Morning all!

As I was waiting for my blueberry muffins to finish baking, I discovered that there is sub-sub-genre of Metal that does covers of popular songs.

I'm sure everyone else knows about this but it's keeping me amused for the time being.

Sunday Morning Metal...it's a good thing.

A brilliant plan...

Timecode:.19.08.2008./10:15

Waking up with coffee, toast & jam.



Flatscreen window on the world...politics...entertainment...spam...boingboing...Buzz Aldrin (that asshole!)...the earth’s core is ‘sloshing’ and causing fluctuations in the magnetosphere that could destroy us all. Actually, I think it’s the beginning of the ‘polar flip’ during which we will have a few years of relatively lessened or absent gravitational pull (this is how they made the pyramids). It’s right there in the geologic record. Every 26,000 years he north & south poles switch polarity. This where the secret campaign to create a nation of obese americans comes into it’s own. With the citizens of europe and asia floating up around the ceiling fans, America will quickly conquer all foreign competition thanks to our specific gravity.

The BRCPO is, obviously, just another bastion of white privilege run amok. Being primarily designed for & by WASPs (White Ambivalently Sexual Portlanders) to the exclusion and debasement of those outside their circle and the secretive "inner-council". That such perverse and clandestine activity should be taking place with the tacit approval of both the BMORG and the Federal Post Office in this, the Year of Obama, is both an outrage & a sad commentary on the state of affairs in Burning Man and America in general.

We of the Charles Bukowski Memorial Post Office* stand proud of our inclusivity of ALL the people of Burning Man and of the important contributions made by folks of both coasts and those of the mid-west (known hereafter as "Corn-fed-yellowheads") as well as Great Britan, Norway, Germany, France, Japan, China, Chad, and parts of Albania.

While we have nothing against the hairy-legged vegans of Oregon's fairest city as individuals, one must confront the crypto-fascist intent (whether real or imagined) inherent in an organization which, after all, is intended as a service for the public good to both senders and receivers of various goods & media on the playa.

"The price of Liberty is Eternal Vigilance!", as someone rather important once said; it is in this spirit I pen these words, though they are but fluttering leaves sure to be swept away by the tides of history. The question for you, the reader, is: Whose History? for that is written by those victorious in the Struggle either FOR LIBERTY or AGAINST FREEDOM...

-Rev Col. Teddy Paris (ret.)-

Okay, I may well be the laziest blogger ever; nonetheless...

Today is my last day of "Don't Drink & Drive" classes!

So, wait a minute, I'm supposed to put something up everyday?!

Nobody told me this in the tutorial.

I haven't been up to too much...clipped my toenails & shaved my balls...the usual maintenance stuff. Watched a couple of movies on DVD (that exciting new medium!), namely Hoax w/ Richard Gere and the Filth and the Fury w/ the Sex Pistols. I seem to recall having a first edition of F is for Fake somewhere in my collection...picked it up outside Lawrence, Kansas and the shop owner was a patient of Dr. Harvey who, as we all know, was the conservator of Einstein's Brain. He kept it in a jar under his kitchen sink! I'm not kidding about this. He'd moved a couple of years previous to my attempting to hunt him down and the erstwhile bookseller lady couldn't tell me his exact address; otherwise I'd be writing about how cool it was to touch Einstein's Brain right about now.

It's Too Damn Hot!

Cover me in butter and call Me a Lobster!

This piss poor excuse for a house is only shielding me in the vaguest of ways from that ball of fire in the sky; I think it may be affecting my mental processes. Not half an hour ago, I found myself stealing art supplies from the neighbors garbage...admittedly, it was a good score, however, I blame it on the Heat.

I found four "Labels" in a strong font with foamcore backing. They read, "ART GALLERY", "HOMELESS SHELTER", "GALLANT MALE ROOM" & "HOARDER'S MIND". I've proceeded to place them about the house in appropriate places.

As always, I take my amusements where I can find them.

-Beginnings-

Okay, okay, I might as well do it. Start a Blog, that is. Until this moment I was one of the three-hundred & seventy-eight people who didn't have a burning need to publish my drivel and genius for the world to see.

All that's behind me now. Welcome to Blog-topia, you sorry son-of-a-bitch; welcome to the ignorance of a million eyeballs and the putative adoration of basement dwellers & twelve year-old boys. May Cam-whores & Internet Tough guys follow your witticisms unto the final hour when your cracked and bleeding fingers shatter 'neath the force of your opinions.

It's at Miss Higdons' feet I lay the corpse of my anonymity; doubtlessly to be consumed by anthropomorphized maggots drunk on the bile of my soul.